To Forgive or Forget, that is the Question
In today’s New Normal, Social Distancing is morphing into Social Media Dependency. Masks are triggering Maskne, with all the associated panic of teenage hormones. Sanitizers are tampering with sanity because usage is getting obsessive.
It is an accepted fact nowadays, mostly everywhere, that COVID has spread more than the virus. Doctors and healthcare workers are witnessing an alarming surge in mental health issues as well. Even the most optimistic amongst us have at some time or the other, during the past two years, been either a witness or a victim to emotional or psychological health issues caused by isolation, lockdowns, paranoia and a feeling of helplessness against the barreling virus and its variants.
Steroids and similar drugs as well as the vaccines that kick the daylights out of the bug and the bug out of your system, are doing a great job everywhere.
But even though the virus may be dead or dying, it’s leaving behind a residue of anger, hatred, hopelessness, weakness and a bunch of harmful thoughts that sometimes even result in further physical health issues.
Now, through all the darkness of this seemingly never-ending pandemic, there is a beacon of hope that is fast becoming a kick-a*s new age cure-all.
Before you think “Here we go, another dumb suggestion from an anti-steroidian” or words to that effect, let’s look at the scientific data behind the claim.
John Hopkins, whose integrity nobody will (or should!) question, has put out an article entitled ‘Forgiveness: Your Health Depends on It’, link provided at the end of this article. The University’s research has seen a clear link between forgiveness and an increase in improved health.
The general public is mostly unaware of the massive physical impact a negative emotion can cause. Depression can lead to loss of appetite, leading to the weakening of one’s immune system. Anger and hatred can spike Blood Pressure. A feeling of hopelessness can force one to ignore even the mildest of exercise, leading to loss of muscle and nerve strength. The list can go on and on, unfortunately.
Which brings us back to the Forgiveness, the painkiller for the new age, the new normal and hopefully a new you.
Let’s begin by figuring out what exactly is forgiveness?
They say Forgiveness is Love. Not helping.
They say Forgive and Forget. Not easy.
They say The Weak Can Never Forgive. Whatever.
They say Forgiveness Liberates the Victim. Ho Hum.
Next.
And this is when we come to the most important insight of this exercise.
Forgiveness has to be a voluntary decision. Not a feeling.
You will have to consciously choose to forgive. The alternative is to choose to let the anger, the hatred, the sadness, the hurt, the frustration, the jealousy and the illness to fester and bring your peace of mind crashing down like a ton of bricks, and drive your body into the nearest medical facility.
Forgiveness has to be cultivated with the discipline of a military band. Your mind, your intention, your desire to succeed and move on should all be playing the same tune.
It’s not as easy as it sounds, it’s not like you are going to wake up one morning and decide to forgive everyone and everything and then go sign up for a world cruise. That’s definitely not how it works.
If there was a shortcut to forgiving all negativity in life, if there was a manual on how to forgive like a pro, if there was a magic wand that could manifest forgiveness with one tap on the head, the world would be a much happier place.
Unfortunately, in the beginning, forgiveness demands your personal input and a lot of hard work.
So perhaps starting with baby steps could jumpstart you to a new forgiving life.
Watch videos on forgiveness. If they get on your nerves, forgive them!
Read quotes on forgiveness. If they don’t make sense, turn the page!
Make a list of people you wish did not exist, situations you wish would go away and circumstances out of your control.
Then tell yourself, ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys, let karma deal with it’.
And before you know it, you will be forgiving not only the unforgiveable, but you will probably find yourself forgiving yourself before anybody or anything else.
And there is ample living proof that this method works. Let go of ranting at late deliveries. Or criticizing not-100%-perfect submissions. Or fuming at a colleague who you know is trashing you behind your back. Most of us have done all this. However, a good harangue aimed at all and sundry can drain your energy and leave you feeling dissatisfied and jumpy. The more you express your negativity, the more the negativity grows exponentially. But once you choose forgiveness, then you can discover how even the smallest act of forgiveness is more powerful than a light sabre destroying the forces of darkness.
The popular quote says ‘To err is human, to forgive divine’ and we know for a confirmed fact that it is difficult to aspire to that level of divinity. So how about turning to Oscar Wilde and putting his advice to good use, ‘Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.’
Have a good day practicing forgiveness. And have a peaceful, healthy life by putting it into practice. Where’s the pain gone?
Refs:
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it
